As I look back on the past year, it has been an eventful one.
Yet, it is a year of many mixed feelings. Many times I have been upset, but simply kept it in, not knowing who to tell. Many times I have been happy, but I don’t know who to rant and rave to.
It is a year of loneliness; I’ve lost friends – good friends. We’ve simply lost touch or fallen out due to some disagreements. I’ve lost my Dad, which, needless to say, is a painful experience.
During that time, I’ve received much comfort from many good friends. I’ve received messages, verbal reassurance and care and concern that I really thank God for. I thank God for friends like these (you know who you are), who during that dark hour, were simply there for me in the simplest ways, from just keeping me company on the phone, to listening to my concerns and pains. I thank God for the countless prayers that have helped me to carry on.
To this day, it still pains me, knowing life isn’t the same. As much as I try to live life normally again, to get on with life as it is, it just isn’t the same any more. It never will be.
I also distinctly remember spending my birthday at work, instead of with friends and loved ones. I had the day off to spend with you all, but instead I went to work, because everyone was busy, too busy, so I too busied myself, perhaps in denial? Maybe it was just to drown out the sense of loneliness. Even though there’s always the reassurance that God’s there for you, sometimes you just need the human element… It was a sad experience, and one that I’m not keen to repeat, ever.
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It is a year of much work and busyness. I’ve had so much to do I don’t even know how I made it this far. It is really by God’s Grace that I made it through all that work and craziness.
I remember a few weeks which were deserving of the “week of weeks” title – the fortnight before Dare You To Move, and the fortnight before Rhema Conference 2007.
Two weeks before Dare You To Move 2007, I was suddenly tasked with organising and executing the shooting of the photo-stories (remember Joey & Ricky, Samantha & Hann’s photos?). I remember it was a real headache as I’ve never done anything of that sort before, but thank God it was completed with minimal fuss.
The fortnight before Rhema were spent crazily settling duty rosters, calling up people, and settling rental of equipment, logistics means for photographers and videographers, and ensuring we had everything we needed to record every memory there was to record of Rhema Conference 2007.
I must share about the headache I had of not having enough videographers to cover the event. Thankfully, God sent Lanz to help us out, Toh and David Choo also helped whenever they could, and that really freed me up to concentrate on photography.
I also thank God for understanding providers of equipment rental, who provided us with key equipment in the form of a second camera body, and a fast prime, and were rather flexible in our equipment pick up and return. Also, special thanks to Lionel for providing us with the 17-40L; it would have cost us a whole lot more to rent that lens.
On the whole, I’d say Rhema went off without a major hitch. On day 1 we did arrive late and begin setting up of our media office late, but this was due to the rain. By God’s grace, we were able to get our office up and running before the night service even began. The only major hiccup was that our office really STANK! It literally smelt bad until about the middle of day 2, when it got better.
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It’s been a year of fellowship and building stronger bonds. I’ve made new friends, good friends in some people. I’ve renewed friendships – friendships that were once further apart, but now so much closer
It is in the crises and difficulties that you find the friends that God sends your way to comfort, to listen, to just be there for you, and I am especially thankful to you all: Amanda, Annabel, Darren, David, Daniel Heng, Janice, Joey, Josh, Keef, Kennaf, Liang, Lynn.
All of you have been instrumental in helping me to get through this year, hands down the toughest year of my life, yet. You may not realise, but all of you are undeniably and incomparably precious to me.
Thanks Amanda, for being the pal that you are. I realise sometimes, how similar we are in personality. Sometimes we tend to get volatile, and all it takes is the tiniest spark and an explosion occurs. Nevertheless, I’ve found that you are someone I can reveal what’s on my mind to. It is hard to find someone who listens. All too often, everybody speaks, but no one listens. In the coming year, it will be an important year for both of us, and I hope we will learn to listen as much as we talk, to each other, and to all our friends around, that we may be blessings to them. All the best for the BIG O!
Annabel, you are someone who is such a faithful friend, and someone who offers care in the simplest of ways. Sometimes it is the simple ways that have great impact. Thank you for offering your time and care during the mourning period of my dad, and thank you for listening when I needed someone to talk to and everything was just weighing down on me.
Darren, thanks for always being that BFG (big friendly giant) that you are. It’s always reassuring to know that you have my behind when it comes to covering events together. I trust we’ve both grown as photographers and as friends, and I pray that you’ll continue to develop your gift of photography and seek to use it as a way to bring glory to God. It is not as easy as say, ushering for a service, but I’m sure it will bring you great satisfaction when you do find out how, and I’m very very sure God will be pleased.
Choo! It is comforting, and it brings me great pride and joy, to see someone like you rising up from ISI. The same must be said of Toh, Keef and Lanz. In your own ways, you are all special, unique, and part of a group of talented young individuals that will be the next generation of leaders. Likewise, in down times, I know you have been praying and interceding for me, and for my family. Thank you very much, bro. Hope and pray to see you continue to rise up in leadership and in talent. To him whom much is given, much is also expected. Remember that. God has given you much, so be prepared that much will be asked of you in years to come, but fret not – God will provide a means to an end.
Fat Heng, you’ve lost a lot of weight! Still a bit plump, but I’m sure that contributes to the immense talent! You know, that EP of yours…I kept listening to it when I was emo, and it made me even more emotional, because so much of the lyrics rang true to my situation. I remember speaking to you about it and you gave me some really good advice. Thanks for the advice. In case you’re wondering, things have since improved a lot. Tell you more when we meet up for jams and kopi.
Jan, you’ve been a source of great amusement and joy (not that you’re a circus act or something. It’s just funny sometimes, the stuff you say). Hanging out with you the past few weeks, and serving in the same worship team as you, has revealed what I know and what I don’t know about you (like your favourite colour. Drat, I think I know what it is). Jokes aside, I really hope that in the coming year, we’ll become closer as friends, that our friendship will be more than what I call a “hi-bye” friendship. Besides being someone who talks a lot, you’re a real thinker, someone who ponders on the finer points of life, and I’m really blessed to know someone like that – someone always thinking, always pondering, and always having fresh insight. Continue to glorify God with the bountiful talent He has blessed you with. Here’s to a better friendship!
Joey, you’ve been a wonderful brother and leader to me. Serving alongside for DYTM was quite a trying journey. It was a crazy journey that God saw us through. Without Him, I wonder which part of the process we’d roll over at. Thanks for the countless times you’ve had me and Les over at your place, to watch United matches, or just to chill out. I remember that last time I stayed at your place before you left for Shanghai. We stayed up until 4, watching the Mayday Final Home DVD. Just too bad we couldn’t have made more noise ehThanks for looking out for me and praying for me countless times this year. Thanks also, for keeping my family in prayer constantly. It never fails to amaze me how you do it. Thanks for being a great mentor and friend. Don’t become too PRC hor!
Toh, most of what I want to say to you is already on your Christmas card (which I haven’t given you at the time of writing this). Like David, I’m thoroughly amazed and proud that a fine leader has risen up from the ranks of ISI. Thanks for covering my announcement-making when I was superduper busy with school and all. We really have to find successors. Next year, as you venture into the relative unknown taking ACE kids, I pray for the continued anointing upon you as a leader and mentor to the kids. It’ll be a very heavy year for you, but my prayer is for good time management and wisdom to prioritise. Will be covering you and the other ISI guys in prayer.
The Yeos! Thank you many many for having me over at your place many many times this year. It’s been interesting becoming closer to both of you, sharing in my struggles and tough times with you both. Likewise, you all have shared with me some of your struggles and in the process we’ve grown closer and more bonded as brothers. Thanks also for listening to my stupid not-funny jokes and telling me it’s not funny (I ALSO KNOW!) Anyways, here’s to many more years of the new brotherhood (So uh Lanz or Lester ah? Tough decision man! Haha).
Liangzhi, thanks for offering me countless advice and comforting words during many turbulent periods this year. Bro, beneath your initially fierce demeanour is someone who I know I can turn to when I need advice or just want to rant to about how life’s been unfair (as it usually is). Looking forward to meeting up and jamming with you more often the next two or so months.
Lynn, it’s been a tough year for both of us, has it not? School’s been crazy, and adjusting to the new environment at Laselle has taken a toll on you. Don’t worry so much okay? Worrying will make you age faster. Haha. Seriously though, through this turbulent year, I’ve learnt that trusting God through unthinkable circumstances works out for the best, and there’s never a time when God left me to face it and suffer. True that it did weather me, sometimes for the worse, but after that the experience made me a stronger person. Don’t worry, be happy (in Christ)!
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As the year draws to a close, I leave you with a thought:
This year may be a difficult year for you – it has been undeniably tough for me – but despite all that, can you find things to thank God for?
It is difficult at first. You look at the tough times and you question God, “why, Lord, why did you let all this happen?” It is when you look at these same tough times that you realise: God has brought you through all that. Isn’t that reason enough to thank God?
